: Should I be “presentable” when sitting out on the back deck of our townhouse? Related Articles It is only visible from two of our neighbors’ backyards. One of these yards is never frequented; the other occasionally has someone visible. I like to sit on the deck in my housecoat and sandals.
Should I be more fully dressed? A housecoat and sandals sound pretty tame compared to the states of undress so often flaunted in full neighborly view. As long as you are reasonably covered, Miss Manners cares less about what is actually covering you. : I’m a widowed woman with enough money to live on comfortably.
Most of my friends are in a similar position, financially. I have many friends, including many couples, with whom I frequently socialize. Often that means dinner together at a nice restaurant.
In the seven years since my husband passed, I have found that the husband in whatever couple I’m dining with often offers to pay for my dinner. I try to politely decline, but much of the time he insists. I appreciate the kindness, but I resent the implication that a woman alone cannot afford to pay for her own meals.
Even more important, though, is the idea that if he pays for me, it becomes an expensive outing for his wife and him, and they will be reluctant to attend future dinners if they feel obligated to pay. In addition, if I am with someone who I think will try to pay, it limits what I can comfortably order, so as to minimize the expense. It’s almost like ordering careful.