I apparently have way too much time on my hands because today, for reasons I can’t possibly explain, I decided to write down the names of all the dogs I have owned, met or known, and/or loved. OK, not all dogs are lovable. Please do not write in and try to tell me that ALL dogs are lovable and that if they are not it’s because of their owners.
Nonsense. Dogs have personalities like all living things do and some doggie DNA isn’t as adorable as others. For example, a beloved relative of mine decided she wanted a puppy, so selected the snarliest, feistiest, most aggressive, bitingest, angriest, biggest, most hyper, clawing, perpetually attacking pup of the litter because she thought his actions were sooo cute! Her family begged her to pick one from the litter of sleepy, loving, rolling, calm, playful siblings, but no, she thought her truculent, aggressive pick of the litter was just darling and that with love and care she could calm him down and make him become “all sweet.
” She named him Fluffernutter. After years of expensive training, Fluffernutter turned out to be severely aggressive, biting, angry, hyper, truculent, snarling beast. I won’t give his breed name, and he just won’t die — he’s now nearly 20 and as cranky as ever.
In fact, when his adoring loving owner wants to have a few people over she has to put him in an overnight kennel so they can dine in peace without the snarling, horrid Fluffernuter violently attacking their shoes and ankles. Fluffernutt.
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