The author (not pictured) had her first child at 45.kate_sept2004/Getty ImagesI took my time deciding if I wanted to have kids — and had my first child at 45.I was financially stable and had time to travel, but I had less energy than younger moms.
There are both pros and cons to being an older parent.When I had my first child at 45, I thought I was ready.I had financial stability, a solid career, and years of life experience to guide me.
I'd traveled the world, built a life I loved, and taken my time before deciding I wanted to be a mother.What I hadn't accounted for was the strange dissonance of parenting in middle age — the unexpected joys, the quiet insecurities, and the ever-present awareness of time.In many ways, parenting later in life has been a gift.
I'm more patient than I would have been in my 30s. The things that might have rattled me back then — toddler meltdowns in the middle of the grocery store, sleepless nights, the sudden loss of personal freedom — don't shake me as much. I've lived enough life to know that everything is temporary.
The tough phases pass, just as the sweet ones do.But there are also quiet, nagging fears that creep in during those late-night rocking-chair moments. I do the math in my head: When my child is 20, I'll be 65.
Will I be around to see them get married? Have kids of their own? Will I be the oldest mom at every PTA meeting, the one who gets mistaken for a grandmother at the playground?There are both pros and cons to being an old.
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